So, when a man says let’s go with the flow, when he… Oh, we don’t need any titles, anything that’s very non-committal or doesn’t present a vision for where we’re trying to go with this, is a man you should not entertain. (Music) Welcome back, this is Stephan Labossiere aka Stephan Speaks. And I’m here with another dating and relationship advice video. Today’s video is going to be for the women, all right. And so, we’re going to be talking about the 7 types of men to avoid.

Before we get into it as always, be sure to subscribe to the channel, like this video, share this video. Click the notifications button so you can be aware when I’m going live and all these different things. But also comment below. Tell me a man you feel like women should avoid. What kind of man or maybe pick one, from the list I’m about to give that you feel like it’s like the big one. But either way, be sure leave your comments below. So, let’s get into this. Seven types of men to avoid, now, listen, I want to make something very clear, I am not here to bash men. I am not here to paint a negative picture of men in a general sense. However, I will point out that there are bad men that exist there are men you don’t need to be giving your time and energy to. And so, we have to talk about those things so that I can help you avoid those types of individuals and the damage that comes from that situation. But that does not mean all men fit under these categories, all right.

So, please do not make that mistake. I’m a firm believer that… Not even believer, I know that great amazing men exist, great relations can be had, but we have to learn how to stay away from the wrong people. So, with that said, let’s get into the seven. I’m sure we’ve got a lot more than seven we can name but I picked a certain seven I want to talk about today, so let’s get right to it. Type of man number one, Mr. Broke and lazy, now, notice I didn’t just say Mr. Broke, I said Mr. Broke and lazy. Here’s the thing, I am a firm believer in women not having to build a man, all right. That doesn’t mean you can’t support an individual, that you can’t be encouraging of him.

And I understand that everyone’s not where they need to be right now, everyone’s not rich or even going to be rich, that’s fine. But there needs to be a foundation of financial stability, all right. But when we’re talking about Mr. Broke and lazy, he’s not just the guy who doesn’t have money right now. He’s not the guy who’s just struggling, he’s the guy who is not doing a damn thing about it, all right. This is the problem. A man who is broke and lazy is not a man you can work with. You can’t be trying to look at his potential and think well, if he just applied himself he could do so much and you may be right. Maybe he could accomplish so much with the right motivation, but if you want to provide that motivation and encouragement do it as his friend. Like, the mistake that women make so much is getting romantically involved with a man who is not qualified to be in a relationship with you yet.

That’s not to insult the man, it’s just the reality of the situation. He has not built himself up to a point where he can have a stable, healthy, relationship with you. Now, some of you may say well, I know some women and they married their man when he was broke and they’re happy now. Listen, there’s exceptions to every rule. Some people get lucky but those are minority situations that is not the majority. The majority of women who entertain Mr. Broke and lazy become Mrs. Hurt and damaged, all right. Become Mrs. I’m drained and I can’t take it no more. Becomes Mrs. Super pessimistic not believing good men exist because the last one took so much out of her.

You don’t want to get caught up in that cycle. Mr. Broke and lazy needs to get his act together. Again, if you want to encourage him as a friend, fine. Do not have sex with him, do not act like his girlfriend, do not give him the benefits of being in a relationship with you, when he is not qualified yet. If you simply said to him hey, this is what you need to be with me all right. And he’s serious about being with you, he’ll step up to the plate. That’s the reality of it. You know I’ve got to give this one quick story to give an example of how you just have to tell him this is what you’re looking for. So, I have a friend she knew a guy, long story short. When she met the man, he had no driver’s license, no job or a super low paying job, baby mama drama, a whole bunch of nonsense and issues, okay.

And she said to him listen, I need you to get your license, I need you to get a better job, I need to get these kids and this baby mama situation in order. Until then, we can’t even entertain the possibility of being together, all right. So, she tells him that and she lets him go. He comes back this is a true story, comes back eight months later. Man got his license, man got a good paying job, no more drama, I think he was also living in his mama’s house. Not living with mother anymore, got his self together.

Now, unfortunately, she still ain’t want him. But that ain’t the point of the story, okay. Ignore that part, that’s a whole different issue as to why she didn’t take him. And for any man don’t let that discourage you. The reality, the point I’m trying to make here though, is he stepped up to the plate. He was told what needed to be done and because he wanted the opportunity bad enough, he made it happen. That’s what you should be doing when you come across Mr. Broke and lazy who you feel like, okay, there could be something here but he’s not ready yet. But in the meantime, avoid him. Type of man to avoid number two, Mr.

Go with the flow, now, before I get deeper into this let me just mention real quick you need to get a copy of my book, He’s Lying Sis. I’m going to show you real quick. This is it, it is available on Amazon, it is also available in the description, there’s a link and in the comments section I will place the link. It uncovers the truth behind his words and actions, it goes deeper into a lot of stuff we’re talking about on this video, and I talk about on my channel. Check it out, He’s Lying Sis, people are going crazy over it. I’m not just saying that, that’s for real. You can see the reviews on Amazon if you want. So, anyways, let’s get deeper into this, Mr. Go with the flow. He’s dangerous, all right. You have to be aware that a man who does not know what he wants should not be entertained, plain and simple. Now, I know some you may say, well, I’ve said let’s go with the flow I get that.

But ask yourself, when you told yourself or when you told that person let’s just go with the flow, how did you really feel about that individual? Where was your head really at? Were you even truly ready for a real relationship? The reality is that when we’re saying let’s just go with the flow, we’re trying to find this middle ground of keeping this person in our life as an option or a convenience without having to fully commit to anything or any expectations in the situation, all right. And if you know you desire a real relationship, then dealing with this guy becomes dangerous because that flow could turn into five months, nine months, two years, ten years.

Yes, I’ve seen situations, I have coached people who got involved with that kind of man and next thing you know it’s years later, you’re still there maybe you got kids by the man now and he’s still not committing to you. He is still not prepared to put any labels on it. So, when a man says let’s go with the flow, when he… Oh, we don’t need any titles, anything that’s very non-committal or doesn’t present a vision for where we’re trying to go with this, is a man you should not entertain. Again, even if you want to convince yourself that you know what, maybe he just needs a little time, which I’m not saying I agree with. But if you as an adult want to go that route, at the very least do not get romantically involved until he can give you his intent, plain and simple, all right. And when I say romantically involved I want to stress no sex, no intimacy. You want to talk as friends, cool, but even that is dangerous because if you really like him, you’re going to get caught up.

You’re going to grow attached and while he’s not willing to commit to you or give you a vision for where he’s trying to go with you, you are going to find yourself dragging on the situation and possibly blocking your ability to receive a man who does want to be with you. So, when he just wants to go with the flow, let him go, let him flow by himself. You don’t need to entertain that, it is too much of a problem, all right. So, now, type of man to avoid number three. Mr. Mama’s boy, all right. Now, let me make something very clear. There’s the mama’s boy who simply loves and honors his mother, nothing wrong with that guy, all right. I think men should love and honor their mother. I would hope and pray that men out there have a good strong relationship with their mothers, that’s a beautiful thing.

However, the mama’s boy that I’m talking about is the man who basically has to have his mother take care of him, the man who has to run everything past his mother, the man who has no boundaries with his mother. So, now when he’s in a relationship, the mother gets to dictate what happens. The mother has too much power in his life. She essentially runs him or at a drop of a dime, she can run him, all right. That is a problem. A man has to learn how to stand on his own two feet. He can honor his mother and respect her, but she has to understand there is a boundary, she is not the dictator of this relationship she does not get to how do I say this? Interfere in our relationship in a negative manner. Granted, if she’s going to be positive, encouraging, a shoulder to lean on in a good nurturing healthy way, no problem with that.

But let’s be real, there’s a lot of mothers out there causing havoc. There’s a lot of mothers out there who are ruining relationships. There’s a lot of mothers out there who don’t know their place and I say that respectfully. She doesn’t understand you cannot be trying to run your son’s relationship or you can’t be taking issue with every woman your son gets with because you don’t want to lose your son to any woman.

Now, that’s a whole different issue you know, I’ll make a video for that. But the point is mama’s boy that’s not good because if you’re looking for a serious relationship in marriage, it is extremely difficult to deal with a man who does not know how to detach from his mother in that way. It also shows that it is very likely that this man will go from having a mother raise him and take care of him and cuddle him to expecting his partner or wife to be his new mother who has sex with him, all right. Let me say that again. He is looking for a woman to be his new mother who has sex with him. That is not a good dynamic, that’s not a healthy dynamic in a relationship. So, pay attention to the type of mama’s boy he is and if he is what I describe, he is definitely a man to avoid.

Number four, Mr. Fake Christian. Hmm, man, so listen. (Laughs) Let me say this, I am not one to judge people’s walk spiritually, all right. And I don’t even like calling people fake Christian, fake Muslim, fake whatever, all right, fake believer. However, the reality is that I’ve seen tons of situations where there are men out there who use God and spirituality as a way to gain favor with women, as a way to gain favor in business, but they’re not really about that life, all right. And so, that’s the problem here. And some of the signs to look for, to pay attention to is how is his behavior outside of the audience? Meaning again, when he’s in a crowd of people, crowd of women, he might be quoting scripture, he might be praising God, he might be doing all these things.

But these fake ones tend to be very judgmental outside of that, very mean spirited in a lot of ways. Can become very verbally abusive, very controlling, they have very negative tendencies that show when they are not in front of the audience, whatever audience they’re trying to appeal to right now. Once that’s removed, their true self starts to show. But the problem is a lot of women, they get drawn to what they saw because they were a part of that audience, all right. And they believe, oh, my gosh, he’s a man of God he’s this and all this stuff. And then when he does show you because he will show you, when he does show you his other side that is clearly contrary to being a man of God, you’re still trying to hold on to what he presented to you at first.

You’re still trying to hold onto the fact that maybe his title is pastor. Maybe his title is whatever, I don’t know. The point is you’re getting caught up in the surface and his resume rather than holding on or acknowledging the behavior and the spirit he shows you outside of being in front of that audience. And so, that guy, that specific guy. Because again, there are plenty of good genuine men of God, but the fake ones you’ve got to stay away from. I’ve seen a lot of toxic situation.

And again, it can become very toxic because… Excuse me. It can become very toxic because he’s so good at putting on a performance in front of an audience that now when you try to tell people he’s this and that they think you’re the crazy one, all right. And so, granted that can happen because it’s going to take some time to even discover that he’s the fake Christian, fake believer, whatever. However, once you see it you’ve got to address it and if it’s not corrected you’ve got to go, plain and simple. You can’t be in denial of it because again, he holds a certain title or because he performs it very well otherwise. You’ve got to stay true to what you’re seeing outside of that and what your intuition and spirit is telling you.

So, beware of the fake believer, fake Christian, fake whatever, all right. Fake spiritual person, all right, so, now on to the fifth type of man to avoid. Mr. Married but separated. Man, man, man, man, listen. And this topic, all these topics are in the book He’s Lying Sis but this one I also touch on specifically. And let me tell you one, I think we should already know, don’t mess with married men. But let’s be real, it’s still happening, it’s still happening. And I’m not here to judge anyone. So, I’m not speaking down on anyone if you are in it or have been considering it I just want to encourage you to not entertain it. I want to encourage you to get out of that situation.

But the reason why you have to avoid Mr. Married but separated, let me make something very clear, not every man who is married but separated is lying, all right. Not every man is trying to move forward with malicious intent. Some people are just so caught up in their own feelings and they want to be loved, they want to have somebody there and yes, they will rationalize to themselves that this is okay because they are separated from their marriage though I would encourage those individuals as well to please don’t entertain relationships until you’re officially divorced, all right. You need time to heal, you need to clean up your situation, you don’t want to bring someone new when you haven’t taken care of the person before.

I’m not here to say that you should have got divorced or it’s good that you got divorced or anything like that. I’m simply saying if you’re going through it finalize it. Get it done then entertain relationships. But for the women it’s important for you to avoid that man. Again, not because I’m saying he’s a downright evil man even though some of them are and some of them are lying. They’re not even truly separated, they’re not even close to a divorce, but if he’s telling you I’m married but separated, he’s telling you I’m still married. That’s what you need to hear when he says that, you are still married. And if he is still married then the bottom line is at any point things can change. So, I’ve seen situations where women get caught up with this type of man and he’s telling them I’m leaving my wife, I plan on being with you, all these things.

And she’s getting ready thinking okay, that’s what’s going to happen. And then let’s say months later, he comes back to her, you know what? I’ve decided to work things out with my wife. I don’t want to leave my kids, whatever reason. You know, something happens and now you’re heartbroken, you’re shuttered and you don’t know how to get yourself out of it. Or you’re still trying to be his side chick now because you’ve grown so attached to him even though now he is saying to you I’m no longer leaving my wife. Either way, this a very unhealthy situation. You’ve got to be very careful of allowing yourself to entertain that man. Let him get his divorce. When he’s divorced, all right so be it, you all are grown adults you can do what you want.

But until then, he needs to be avoided, you need to protect yourself, your peace, your spirit and don’t get caught up in any drama or mess. And we can go even deeper but we’re going to stop there with that one. So, number six Mr. Emotionally unavailable / Mr. Doesn’t know how to communicate. Now, let me say this, doesn’t know how to communicate, I had to throw that in because again, if you guys can’t talk to each other you can’t have a healthy relationship. However, I do want to make clear that not knowing how to communicate, but willing to try to work with you is a guy that you can embrace and entertain, all right. Not every man is going to be great with his communication at first some men do need growth in that area. But again, there are men who are willing or want to try or are concerned about how you feel about it and they’re the men who make excuses. And so, when we’re talking about the excuses, we’re sliding a little bit more into Mr.

Emotionally unavailable. This is not a man who is capable of giving you what you need in a relationship, all right and the reality is that the man who starts off dating you emotionally unavailable is extremely unlikely to become emotionally available to you. If your thought process is he just needs some time and he’ll get there, wrong. Now again, I’m not going to say it’s never happened in the history of life but I’m telling you it is a rare occurrence. You cannot be betting on that even if you thought that can happen.

What did I say earlier? Be his friend. That’s the most you can give him, platonic friendship if you can handle it, all right. And if you can make sure that you’re not going to cross certain lines and he understands that as well. Outside of that though, he’s simply not trying to be what you need in a relationship and it could be for various reasons. It could be he’s just too damaged, it could be he’s just not into you like that, there could be a host of other things going on with him. Either way, he is not capable of having a healthy relationship with you.

And you don’t need to get caught up with this man because what happens to a lot of women is in the struggle to pull the emotion out of him you become more attached to the individual, you now have a harder time walking away from him even though he’s always been the same emotionally unavailable man from the start. He never lied about that, he never showed you something different, all right. So, you’ve got to accept it for what it is and realize this is not a man I can even attempt to have a relationship with. Stay away from him so that you don’t become more damaged in the process. And now, last but not least, number seven and again, I want to mention it one more time, all right. Sorry about that He’s Lying Sis, get it. So, the next one I’m about to mention is a specific chapter in here as well.

And that is he doesn’t want a girlfriend, but he acts like your boyfriend. Let me say that one more time. He doesn’t want a girlfriend but he acts like your boyfriend. Let me tell you something. You’ve got to stay far away from this dude because it becomes such a difficult situation when you have a man who is willing to do all the nice things, talk to you nice, treat you good, but he doesn’t want to commit to you. He doesn’t even want a relationship in general, at least that what he’s telling you. Because I would argue that a lot of times the same man who tells you I don’t want a relationship simply does not want it with you, which is why you will see him six months later get engaged to somebody else.

He was always down for commitment, he just didn’t want it with you and that’s not a knock on you per se. There’s going to be a lot of men who may like you, who may value what you bring to the table, but they don’t feel you’re the one. They don’t feel like okay, this is who I want to attach myself to for the rest of my life. And there are some men who simply want to have you as a convenience in their life. And they will do boyfriend girlfriend stuff with you, but they will not fully claim you, they will not fully commit to you, they will not allow you to think or they will not tell you that I have future plans for you, all right. And sometimes they might even say it but again, if I’m saying I will have future plans for you but I still can’t commit to you now, I’m full of crap. That’s bottom line don’t listen to that. So, the guy who acts like your boyfriend but doesn’t want a girlfriend is not a man you should entertain.

It’s a man you need to avoid because it is a such a dangerous situation where you are very likely to get caught up, you are very likely to want to believe that his current actions are saying he wants more with you. And I know we always say actions speak louder than words. But the reality is that actions and words have to line up together. When the actions and words are different that means a lie is being told there cannot be inconsistency there. A man who is serious about you a man who wants to be with you, is going to show actions and be able to verbalize his desire for you, all right.

But that kind of guy that I’m talking about, he’s showing you one and not the other and that’s the guy you need to stay away from. So, again, like I said there’s a lot more men we could probably add to this list. If you have some that I didn’t mention put them in the comment section below. But one way or another, avoid these types of men. Now, I want to stress I’m a firm believer in you don’t see a red flag and run, you see a red flag and you address it. Sometimes and I’m just going to use one example. Let’s say the fake believer, all right. Let’s say he has a moment where he does act out of character and it may just be a moment. If you address him and he handles that well and corrects his behavior, then he’s good. Don’t assume well, I just saw this red flag let me run because that must mean he’s fake.

No, maybe he just made a mistake we are human. So, I have no problem with who any one of these men that you may encounter that you first address it, all right. Because again, the man who is serious about you will correct it, The man who is not will make excuses, he’ll dismiss you, he’ll dance around this topic, he’ll flip the tables on you but either way, he’s not going to make improvements.

That guy, cut him loose it’s done. So, again, I hope and pray you enjoyed this video. Be sure to like the video, share the video, comment below, and watch one of my other videos and I’ll see you in the next one. .

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